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Discord Symphony

"It was a fire"
"Deep in my soul"
"I'll never be the same"

Am I being put to the test each day?
I cry out to God when my heart strings cries for another.

"I stepped out of the dark"
"Into the light"
"When He Called My Name"

I couldn't step out I couldn't  run from the darkness.
My heart betrays me, even with my cries
I wasn't filled with peace
I know I couldn't do it, but the Holy Spirit prompt me to message a friend..

I wrote:
"Hey... I'm struggling again."
"Can you pray for me?"

He replied

"Now?"
"I go pray the rosary."
"Take your rosary now."
"You don't have to say."

As I searched for my rosary my mind was racing with all this emotions; what can he do? Have I build my foundation on His rocks and not my sand? I thought I'm secured in His perfect love...

I replied with a heavy heart.. 

"I'm struggling with my emotions."

"Feelings of anxiety." 

"And loneliness."

"Not being loved."

 He hastily replied 

"Praying for those emotions to be filled with the graces from God"

"Solitude in Him"

"Loved by Him."

"Fear of Him."

I replied with whatever faith I had... 

"I'm gonna recite it now"

I started praying, with each word I said I sighed in vain as if I was being forced.. 

Like a breeze before you hear the brushing of leaves it kisses the hairs on your skin with its cool wind and I felt.... His spirit moving in me and each breath I took the darkness started to become smaller like a shadow exposed to mid-day sun, with each word I recited that is His and not mine I was exalted and a spirit of calmness and serenity fills me. His mother's words 'hugged' me and comfort me. 

By the third decade, I received solace from the rosary I decided to continue to the end as a thanks giving. When I was done praying those dark feelings were still there, but a speck. 

My heart was back to the same as it was meant to be a Child of God, of great light and love. Filled with the spirit of Hope. I thank my friend and I told him what happened, which I felt it was a spiritual attack on my identity.. 

He replied..

"Praise God"

"Channel your anxiety to God"

"No spiritual attack is stronger than Him."

I replied in agreement, and told him I'm gonna turn in for the night

"Sleep in peace!" he replied 

And I slept without a heavy heart but a heart of peace once more...

I've no quick fix to a broken heart or those who are struggling with fears and doubts or even finding that special someone but I know that true comfort is absolutely from Him.

"Jesus he loves me"

"How can it be"

"He loves me"

"He is for me..."